The Value of Trust
Or maybe that should be the massive cost of mistrust.
Just in the last few weeks I have watched:
- a team’s productivity impacted somewhat and their morale impacted significantly because they didn’t feel their manager believed in them.
- two team members get to the point where they were so badly miscommunicating, that they started to stop engaging, despite the fact that actually there were pretty much on the same page
- an email circulated declaring a product would not be delivered on time when in fact it would, with all the associated the worry to the business and disruptive frustration that caused in a team frantically focused on closing down the release in time.
These all had impact to the business, teams and individuals (which would have been even more significant had they not been dealt with); and at the root of them all was a lack of trust, acknowledged or otherwise.
This got me ruminating on trust, the massive impact of trust in the work environment (even one with as relatively health culture as ours) and why in my experience it is such a key component of success, or perhaps more often failure.
Trust is one of those things that when it is there you take it for granted, you don’t realise how key it actually is to smooth and efficient running of any team, project or business; but if it is not there suddenly everything becomes 10 times harder and slower to do. Lack of trust is a major inhibitor to getting the job done, to driving innovation and, of no less importance, being positively engaged at work! However I also think lack of trust, while its effects are obvious, it is not always obvious that it is the cause and so you have to look carefully, often at yourself!
The concept and discussion of trust in teams is not a new one for me, a number of years ago when teaching collaborative leadership to technical leaders it was not only a key topic on the course; but also lack of trust came up very strongly in the sessions we facilitated at the beginning of the course, before the learning started, that tried to get under the major issue that inhibited success. Interestingly every team from every level in the company strongly felt that what they wanted and needed from their management team was trust, but when asked what their team needed and wanted from them it was rarely mentioned.
One of the hardest things I find to deal with in working life is the willingness of people to attribute negative motivations to others. I honestly find it so disheartening, partly because of what it says about us as a human race (that we have to start from a negative position), but also because in my experience it is for the most part unnecessary and a significant hindrance to getting the job done fast and efficiently. Basically it is a massive, unacknowledged time waster and energy drain because it is often at the root of a mistrustful relationship.
The best way to learn if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” — Ernest Hemingway
You have to trust first. I have heard many people say that no, trust is earned; however I believe that is the wrong approach. I believe trust can be and is deepened, but to be deepened there has to be a foundation, you have to have something in place to start with. You ‘earn’ money: you start with nothing and you can, by doing things for other people, by adding value, ‘earn’ money which in turn you can use to trade; but at the end of the day this is always transactional. There is someone who starts with nothing and so something actually changes hands.
Trust is not a finite resource that has to change hands; it is plentiful like other emotions, and unlike commodities. Don’t get me wrong, it has value, but giving trust to a new member of your team does not mean that you trust a existing member of your team any less.
Now I am not saying that you should trust the next man who passes you in the street with your life or the woman at the bus stop with your front door keys and address. I am talking about in a work environment, in a situation where your company/manager/peers has selected this person to work with you. They have actually done some screening and believe in their experience this person has value, hopefully you place some value on that experience and/or process. (OK so if you think your boss is a complete idiot then this probably is harder, but you possibly do have bigger issues to tackle right now!!)
In my 25+ year career working with a great deal of different people I have literally come across only a handful that didn’t come to work to do a good job, seriously the percentage is tiny. Don’t get me wrong, I have worked with a number of people that didn’t do a good job, but very few that deliberately didn’t.
The vast majority of people I have ever worked with, even the jerks (and there have probably been more of those than untrustworthy souls!), were actually trying to do a good job; and you know what when you remember that, it changes the dynamics of any interaction. Instead of instantly jumping to a place where you feel that the other person is a) an idiot or b) out to get you, thus you spend time and energy preparing to ‘slap them down’. You come from a place where you think “OK that seems a bit hokey to me, but let me understand a little more”, and you ask a question to help you understand why they are approaching it that way… lo and behold the outcome is usually something a kin to one of the following:
- Oh crap, they knew something I didn’t, good point, lucky I asked. Now do we need to change direction to avoid the problems, or possibly remain on the current path but with a higher awareness of potential risks/problems.
- Hmmm they really don’t understand what is going on here, but that’s OK it will take me a short time and then they will be on side with me and things will move much smoother.
- Oh, OK they are misguided in their assumptions or approach but I understand how they got there, and with the understanding/empathy that brings me we can probably move forward faster.
“When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.” — Stephen R. Covey
However sadly many times in that same 25+ year career I have also watched as people and teams failed to work together because of the assumption that the ‘others’ motivations were to “take control”, “demonstrate they are better” or the more basic “they are a bunch of idiots, that can not possibly know as much as we do”; rather than “get the job done in the best way possible”. The hours, the ideas and the money that have been wasted are immeasurable, if I think too long and hard, I could cry at the sheer volume of missed opportunity.
I have seen teams, best case take weeks to come to an agreement that should take an hour, worse case sabotage complete project outcomes. All because one individual believes that another is clueless or trying to wrest power. Instead of stopping and appreciating that the other person really believes this is the right way to do things and trying to understand why that is: maybe because he has had a positive experience of doing so before, maybe because she has read a number of articles recently praising this approach, who knows? Generally no one before they ask!
It sounds crazy when you talk of people sabotaging project outcomes, but I bet if you stop and think about it you have all observed it; although that may not have been the intention, it was the outcome, and maybe you even sat on the sidelines and watched it not knowing how to help.
In essence
Lack of trust is a considerable disruptive force and yet rarely acknowledge by either party.
As individuals we have the power to influence the trust level in any interaction or relationship we have and the responsibility to do so for the good; and that may mean changing our behaviour.
So What Do I Suggest
- Trust First. Believe me, it is worth it.
- Seek to understand before you judge — If you think you are always right, you’re wrong! Stop, breathe and listen before you react verbally or emotionally.
- “Help me understand why…” is a very powerful phrase, if in doubt don’t assume, ask why.
- Don’t assume just because their suggestion/idea is wrong that their intentions are bad.
- Many behaviours are perceived/felt as mistrust, be aware of the ‘vibes’ you give out and the language you use. And remember their perception is their reality; if they perceived they are distrusted it doesn’t matter what you think, the interaction is impacted and you both have the responsibility to address that.
- If you think lack of trust is a problem, be a grown up and deal with it; with the individual, calmly and careful (maybe even with a 3rd party trusted on both sides). Don’t pretend it is going to sort itself out, it rarely does and the longer you leave it the worse & harder it gets and the wider the negative impact usually becomes.
- Stop being so bl**dy paranoid ;o)
